The Moose Song Words by: Thomas Payton, et. al. Tune of: Sweet Betsy From Pike When I was a young girl (man) I used to like boys (girls), I fondled their tights (bodies) and played with their toys (curls), But me boy (girl) friend ran off with a salesman named Bruce, You'd never get treatment like that from a moose! CHORUS: So it's moose, moose, I like a moose, I've never had anything quite like a moose, I've had many lovers, my life has been loose, But I've never had anything quite like a moose! Now when I'm in need of a very good lay, I go to me stables and gets me some hay, I opens me window and spreads it around, 'Cause moose always comes when there's hay on the ground! CHORUS Now I've made it with all kinds of beasties with hair, I'd make it with snakes if their fangs were not there, I've made it with walrus, two ducks and a goose, But I've never had anything quite like a moose! CHORUS Now gorillas are fine for a Saturday night, And lions and tigers, they puts up a fight, But it just ain't the same when you slams your caboose As the feeling you gets when you humps with a moose! CHORUS I've tried many beasties on land or on sea I've even tried hump-backs that humped back on me! Sharks are quite good, tho they're hard to pull loose But on dry land there is nothing quite like a moose! CHORUS Woodchucks are all right except that they bite And foxes and rabbits won't last thru the night! Cows would be fun, but they're hard to seduce But you never need worry should you find a moose! CHORUS Step in my study, and trophies you'll find A black striped tiger and scruffy maned lion You'll know the elephant by his ivory tooth And the one that's a-winking, you know is the mooth! CHORUS The lion succumbed to a thirty-ought-six Machine guns and tigers I've proved do not mix The elephant fell by a bomb with a fuse But I won't tell a soul how I did in the muse! CHORUS I've found many women attracted to me A few of them have had me over for tea Some say that they love me when they're feeling loose But I'd trade the world's women for one lovely moose! CHORUS The good Lord made Adam, and then He made Eve Said He: "If you sin now, I'll ask you to leave!" They left not because of Eve's forbidden fruit But 'cause Adam decided the moose there were cute! CHORUS The English are said to like boars who've had corn The Celtics just dream of the young unicorn The Germans, it's said, just need leather and rope But give me a moose and I'll no longer mope! CHORUS Now I've broken the laws in this god-awful state They've put me in prison and locked up the gate They say that tomorrow I'll swing from a noose But my last night I'll spend with a good sexy moose! CHORUS Next morning the Governor's word reached my ears "We've commuted your sentence to ninety-nine years!" "You won't get parole; not a five minute's truce, And your friend goes to Sing-Sing, he's so big-a-moose!" CHORUS (SLOWLY) Now that I'm old and advanced in me years, I'll look back on me life, and I'll shed me no tears, As I sit in me chair with me glass of mateuse, And play hide the salami with Marvin (Millie) the Moose! CHORUS Sweet Betsy from Pike -- Traditional C G7 C Oh don't you remember sweet Besty from Pike? D7 G7 Who crossed the wideprarie with her lover Ike, C F C With two yoke of oxen, a big yaller dog, G7 C A tall Shanghai rooster and one spotted hog. Chorus: C G7 C Hoodle dang fol de di do, hoodle dang fol de day.